- Jenny Chamberlain
Surrendering Is Not Failing
Updated: Oct 4, 2021
October 18, 2015
Write Your Story Series
Inspiration. Have you ever had a hard time finding it? In English class they always talked about having writer’s block. A time when a writer is poised on a goal, but the words just don’t come out. The writer desires, craves, longs for the creativity, but when they are ready to go…. FLOP!
In my last blog, I shared on how we all are a success story, and although our big picture may not be evident at the moment, it just may mean that we are in the process of writing our “own story” and how it ends is up to you.
But, what if you have “writer’s block?” You are ready to go with whatever goal you want to accomplish, but your mind is blank, you can't move forward, your stuck.
Maybe it’s because you're tired, you’ve been going at it for a long time, hour after hour, day after day. It might be school, weight loss goals, your personal relationships, starting your own business, a goal that you have for your kids, or even trying to create a life balance for yourself – anything!
Here’s the thing. You have writers block. It doesn’t mean that you don’t want to do it, doesn’t mean you’re lazy or that you don't desire inspiration, you do!
Guess what? Feeling "stuck" just means you are somewhere in between Point A and Z which is probably one of the most frustrating points to be in, because if you are like me, you want to know what the ending is, NOW!
“What’s my outcome?” you ask yourself "I wanna know what’s going to happen to me, even if it’s months or years down the road.” The unknown future can be scary sometimes, it doesn’t offer us the facts that we crave for. We live in an instant and fast paced society, where just at a touch of a finger, we have the opportunity to know everything that is going on in our world.
Our future, no matter how much we like to take control and plan it, is not always guaranteed to turn out the way we desire. We sometimes base our future on what is known, overlooking that it is also equally based on the unknown.
I have always been a “die-hard” cut things out “cold-turkey” kind of person. Always could do it, whether it be for lent, or some sort of challenge I was giving myself in order to reach a particular goal. Did this for years, easy peasy, something I have always prided myself in. That is until I got burnt out doing it all the time. This is something I struggled with, I felt like a failure because I always saw myself as a “conqueror” when it came to those sorts of things.
Then, I learned the word “Surrender” … what? Surrender? But I AM A CONQUEROR! I am someone who never gives up! I always win and I fight to the end! Surrender? Surrender to what? I’m gonna try again. But. I just.. can’t..do….
Now, surrendering does not mean that you are giving up!!! We are not at war with ourselves.
Surrendering .. How You Define It Is Up To You….
There are several definitions of “surrender”. One is giving up to the enemy or opponent.
Who’s your enemy, you? It shouldn’t be, you should be your best advocate, your number #1 cheerleader. If you’re not, then you need to think about it and consider the people you surround yourself with. Do they encourage and cheer you on?
Another definition of surrender is: to give the control or use of (something). To agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc.
You see, when we give up control of our own lives, we feel like we are giving in to the
unknown. We often fight or resist change. In some cases, it causes us to stop hiding and forces us to peek our head out of the cave that we have created for ourselves and face our reality – or the sunshine.
Surrendering is not about giving up or giving in, it’s about letting go, accepting and having peace with the unknown; and being excited about doing so. Choosing to see it as a road full of possibilities, ones that you never hoped or dreamed of before. Possibilities beyond your human imagination. The next step is to pack up that van and get ready to go!
“Control.” When it comes to wanting to control our own lives to guarantee a particular outcome, we then become our worst enemies and “control” becomes the number #1 weapon we have against ourselves.
Control is the opposite of freedom. It does not allow for creativity, no real substance, does not give rise to new opportunities and innovation. It only makes room for anger, frustration, failure and depression. We go into a dark cave of closed mindedness, never poking our heads out to take deep breaths of fresh air.
Control kills inspiration. Inspiration is found deep within our souls and hearts sparking the motivation and energy needed to keep going. Freedom allows us to love ourselves and life.
Allowing For Change – Finding A Better Way To Do Things …
To surrender any of my dreams that I hold close to me, doesn't mean I need to give up. Believe me, there is this one particular goal I have been working on for a long time – not quite there yet, I am definitely in the middle of Point A – Z.
Surrendering something that I grasp tightly with my hand means doing things the “same old way” in order to achieve a particular outcome is no longer working and I need change!
I have to take some time out to re-assess my situation and find a “new way” which can be scary, yet interesting and courageous at the same time.
Perhaps I am not seeing the bigger picture, maybe my picture is too small. Maybe I am fixated on the one door that I am having a difficult time unlocking instead of opening my eyes and seeing several already open for me. Now, doesn't that thought bring in the butterflies to your stomach? How exciting!
Perhaps it's a goal or a dream that you have been conditioned to wanting to achieve for so many years, causing you to be unable to lift your head outside of the water, leaving you unable to realize that it is no longer appealing because you have grown, your wants, needs and desires have changed. Deep down inside, you feel like this "idea" of who you should be or what you could have accomplished is holding you down like an anchor in the water. Now that you finally are able to lift your head up to breath, your lungs fill with new aspirations and your world has changed.
Taking One Step At A Time…. The Seed Turns Into A Tree
It’s okay to take things one step at a time in order to accomplish our goals and dreams that the little mustard seed inside of us has planted. Society often tells us that we need to be fast, jump in feet first and take a dive. Not always the case, sometimes it’s good, but maybe more times that not, we need to take things one small step at a time.
It’s like that Mustard Seed Of Hope I talked about last week. Taking things one step at a time allows for that seed to grow, allowing it to plant roots firm into to the ground. It gives us the chance to nurture, take pride in being the person who helped the mustard seed grow into a strong beautiful tree full of life. See it takes time for the Mustard Seed to receive it’s branches. Branches need a strong, thick trunk because their life depends upon it. The trunk, needs the roots to plant itself firmly on. The roots need the seed to begin life.
But. when the branches are ready to grow and expand the life of the tree, the seed, roots, trunk, branches and the leaves are ready to give and pour back the love that was poured into it.
This is part of the choice that we make and how our Success Story Is Written. When things aren’t going “our way” by using our current method, are we willing to take a step back, re-assess our situation, be ready for a new game plan and move forward taking one step at a time?
I Am Not A Failure ….
Something we have to remind ourselves often. But more often than not, we tell ourselves the opposite right? Well, today it’s time you take a stand and declare with your arms spread WIDE open and say:
“I AM NOT A FAILURE! “I AM A SUCCESS STORY!!” … “MY STORY IS CURRENTLY BEING WRITTEN, IT’S JUST NOT FINISHED YET”.
Embrace the rainbow of possibilities, the beauty of the unknown. The unknown doesn’t have to be about fear. It’s about giving us hope for the future, when doing things the “same o’l way” has brought us down.
I don't know about you, but I want to be the person in this picture shouting at the top of my lungs proclaiming my desire for a whole new world that is ready to open up for me and all the things my human mind can never conceive.
Powerful words. As I write them, I feel inspired, something I struggled with as I had writer’s block this morning.
You see, I struggled for words to write my 2nd blog this past week. I was suppose to write it Thursday night and now here we are, Sunday morning. I had a particular subject in mind, but every time I put my pen to paper, the words just didn’t come out. I knew what I wanted to do, what I wanted to write about, but every time I tried I got a “blank” note card that didn’t even have a picture on it giving me ideas to inspire me to write.
But, as I arose before sunrise this morning and wrote a few things on my notepad, I basked in the silence when the world around me was asleep. In this present moment, I allowed myself to be open and listen. My inspiration came and writer’s block was no more.
You see in the silence I was able to realize that what I had previously set out to do, the subject I wanted to focus on, wasn’t really what I wanted to write about, at least not for today…
Sometimes, we fight, resist or even hide from what it is meant to be. We get so centered on a goal or dream causing us to live inside a box that doesn't grant us the opportunity to grow, to be innovators in re-inventing our dreams or discover what is not yet in our purview …That’s when we are required to walk in the silence and listen……
You see, how it ended was up to me. I chose to give up control of my writing mission and allowed myself to listen in the silence, to be free with new thoughts and as a result I wrote for over an hour, even started on 3 new different blogs. I feel so inspired! I feel creative and yes, I AM A CONQUEROR!
One of my favorite contemplative writers Thomas Keating wrote “Silence is God’s first language, everything else is a poor translation.”
What hope or inspiration is in your silence today?
This is my “theme picture” for the day, why? It shows of a woman surrendering, yet, she is so free, confident and strong.
She stands on a fallen tree trunk, maybe the o’l log represents a story she just finished or a goal/dream that didn’t come true. The trunk is no longer attached to it’s roots, but the roots are still there right next to it embedded in it's stump. Despite it being disconnected from it's grounded roots, the trunk represents life and encourages her to start a new venture, new hopes, new dreams. I see no fear as she yields herself to the silence with open arms, ready for what life brings her and ready to take it on! She has no fear of failing. Her roots are planted deep in the ground, her body is the trunk that withstands time, her arms are her branches that exclaims “I am ready!”
When you go about your business today, greet life with open arms. Welcome creativity in your story as you pick up the pen. Look at yourself in the rear view mirror and say: